So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Randomize
