Porn is love you can see.
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Randomize
