My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
