Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
