I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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