I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
me + whiskey = a bad person
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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