I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Randomize