i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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