I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
