sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
