I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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