I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
