Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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