at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
