we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
