what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
