Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
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