Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
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