I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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