I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
