dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
You need Xanax blowdarts
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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