Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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