he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I just found puke in my bra..
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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