I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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