There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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