i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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