did you get engaged???
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
