I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
