pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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