8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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