Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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