you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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