Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize