I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Proof That Kendall Jenner Is The Queen of Cannes
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!