Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Randomize
