i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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