How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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