i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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