I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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