I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I don't want my vagina anymore.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
