so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Randomize