And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I just found puke in my bra..
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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