Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
