I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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