can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
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