I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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