If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
