Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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