I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
