i would punch a child for taco bell
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
