he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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