Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
