Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize
