Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I didn't shave. On purpose
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Randomize
