so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
