Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
