last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
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