yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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