dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
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