what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
