What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
