I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
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