Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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