no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
