Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
