I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
